… a nation of extremes …

So many stories being written about, yet I wonder how many were being read carefully and prayed over with daily intercession, especially those were written years ago.  There are days I simply want to sit back and read ….  my devotion on the book of Isaiah (mind boggling and heart convicting!!) and a few blog entries which I did not pay much attention then to the details until today.  I find comfort reading it now because I was there not too long ago.  Probably because I was asked bluntly yesterday, a bit out of the blue, by a friend about Cambodia.  I carefully told her about the history, about the political turmoil, about the Buddhist acceptance of KARMA, the killings, the foreign pedophiles, the corruption, the wars, the statistics, most of all, the love of Jesus, and His power of transformation.  All these start to sound like I am telling my own story, very familiar to my ears because they have been in my vocabulary bank for quite some years.  A photographic memory and sensory of that particular place and that particular smell do me a big favour as I could “fly” myself there for a moment without physically being there. (Though how much I long to be there again, I will wait for the Lord’s timing!!)  Here goes the blog entry I read today …

September 2009

Today was a day of absolute extremes. We had the absolute pleasure to meet with two New Zealanders – Sue and Sue from Hagar. Hagar is an organisation which specialises in rehabilitation of young children of both sexes who have been subjected to the massive traumas of sexual abuse. The youngest in their care is just 5 years old…

Hagar majors on the “too hard basket”. This phrase caught me from the off. It was only a year ago that another organisation warned me away from work with these kids telling me it was too dangerous and too hard. Well – this organisation is testament to the fact that nothing is too hard for those who follow Christ. It may get a little messy along the way but it is never too hard.

The Buddhist acceptance of karma pretty much dictates that this is your lot in life and better luck next time. I don’t quite grasp how that can work in ever breaking the cycle of decline which has robbed these children of their innocence. With Jesus we simply come as we are – wretches with all our baggage – and He alone can restore.

Hagar runs a project for abused boys – the only one in the country. It is a pilot and has reached its capacity with 8 kids residential and a further 8 in community foster care. These little guys are as young as 8 and have been violated largely by western paedophiles. This area is a new aspect to their programme but one which is so essential. There are clear needs to develop further care facilities for young boys who are still enduring this torment. A new venture will cost in the region of £22,000 to open. Shame and ignorance has hidden the extent of the problem of sexually abused boys. I guess the depth of evil here goes very deep – yet I delight in the fact that the depth of Jesus love goes deeper.

We learned of a 13 year old boy who has been repeatedly raped by a western man but the mother was given $2000 to drop the charge by the perpetrator. In the night robbers visited the mother house and stole the cash cutting her throat in the process.

Another 12 year old girl with learning difficulties wandered the village being continually raped. Because she had a low IQ she was dismissed as crazy and was abandoned – she didn’t even have a name. After falling pregnant she was refused care by 4 organisations. She gave birth to a baby whilst still a child herself she had no concept of caring for this infant. Eventually a widow who lived in a house next to the church took her in and cared for both of them – Hagar assists this lady as she is so poor and struggles to look afford to live. Both are Christians and now attend the church together.

Stories like this are common here and yet whilst there is so much to be sad over there is also much to rejoice about.

In the afternoon we headed out to the Hagar foster care programme. A place where young girls live in safety – for most this is a new experience. Here they can start to rebuild their lives with expert counselling and education before moving to community homes under the watchful eye of a loving house mom. We left this place and headed to one such community home accompanied by the 5 beautiful young girls who live there. They eagerly show us round their home before presenting the entire team with a gift. Straining hard to hold back the tears we share some time sat around chatting before praying for the girls continued wellbeing. In turn they prayed for the team. As we leave the girls all stand at the door and wave farewell. Dry eyes on the way back to the hotel – not a chance!

It is so amazing to see the complete transformations in girls when Jesus moves in. I just wish there could be more. Do pray for the two Sues and Hagar as they spearhead this work. We are exposed to it for a fleeting moment – they see and hear it every day.

Cambodia is a nation of extremes. We see the beauty of transformed lives through the grace of Christ. We see groups of committed individuals working to facilitate this – groups from overseas and local groups. And yet there is the down right ugly which parallels this. In addition to the horrendous stories we witnessed tonight some of the worst of Cambodia. We headed to a hotel where we were told there are girls for sale. No preparation can ready you for what we faced. Leaving the plush hotel lobby to the first floor we are faced with a wall of girls sat behind glass looking back at us. Each girl is segregated into her nationality group and wears a badge on their shirt. This is one of the tragedies – they are simply a number. Their identity is stripped and they have become just another commodity. Some smile back – other seek to avoid eye contact. For $6 you get a massage and for $8 you get a ‘VIP massage’.

We ride away in a tuk tuk in a stunned silence. Here we see the evidence that Satan has come to “steal, kill and destroy”. He does it every minute of every day and yet we have also seen the Christ who came to give us the fullness of life so evidently at work in these communities.

The enemy of our souls has certainly moved in like a flood and yet the Spirit of the Lord is raising up a standard.    — Steve Norman, Ratanak UK

 

 

… a click of a key …

I haven’t been so intentionally sharing the gospel with an non-believer for quite a while. Today I will have a chance, so obvious is the fruit ripen from that little seed being planted months ago. As I am racking my mind for metaphor and analogy, I remember how I once did the very same thing when I sat across from my dad in his home. Smoke of cigarettes were rising up in a puff and diluting into thin air. As I was inhaling nacotine into my lungs, I was exhaling stories upon stories of what the Lord had done for me.

 

I was painting a picture to him carefully and describably how we had always been sitting in darkness for a long time. You see a ray of beaming light somewhere down the road, but we couldn’t get near it, it took us a long way to inch our way towards that. We thought it was beautiful to stay where we were and admiring its beauty and its brightness. We stayed put for years, weepy and rotten. From a distance, we could see the dust dancing in the light cocoon, it was to me even the dust know how to sing in joy when they were under such exuberant brightness whereas we who were still sitting in darkness were limited to only sitting and looking and wondering and doubting.

 

By the move of His hands, we were under a current of inching closer and closer to the beaming light, the darkness around has become less inpenetrating, our focus on objects has become less disorienting. We continued to inch closer and closer, more light is illuminating the space around us. Now that we could see how our arms could move, how our legs could dance, how our fingers could wiggle, how our muscles could stretch. The light took us to see clearer and to undestand better. We were drawn to that light, yet we were hesitated what that exuberancy could take us. Would it blind our eyesight with its powerful beams? Would it expose the rugged pores of our ugliness? Would it freeze our motions with a zapping thunder? Would it do this, would it do that?

 

Yet we were toeing the line of that current of light, and BANG!! Here we were standing, surrounded by the fullness of His love, illuminated by the certainty of His salvation, softly lifted up by the spring of His grace. We were there standing looking directly to this light, so bright, soaked in glory and honour. We fell face down as it does expose the rugged pores of our ugliness, it does freeze our motions with a zapping thunder. Yet as our bodies crouched on the ground with our arms enveloping our heads to block the light from piercing into our pores and our eyes, the darkness around us shriek into smallness. The once vast reaches of darkness with its seemingly inpenetration wisps into a dull void, its once controlling disorientation crumbles into a limping thread, its once stronghold demolishes into a petty pebble. Useless and powerless!! Phephuffff!!

 

 *                           *                          *                           *

 

That was what I shared with my dad a few years ago about the hope of His salvation and the hopelessness of our stubborness. He listened with a few puffs of smokes rising up into the ceiling wall. We opened to Isaiah 55, the words were like drops of morning dews into my heart, and his heart.

 

“What can you possibly do? Don’t be so naive!! The UN should do something, the policy maker should do something!”

 

“No, Dad, you and I could do something. My faith in Lord Jesus doesn’t invite me to sit in the pews every Sunday. He invites us to live it out by not only sitting but standing in solidarity, but fighting with faith knowing the God that we believe in is on our side.”

 

He argued that the hopelessness in Cambodia was not in my league just by flaunting an ancient Jew named Jesus.

 

“But Dad, it’s exactly by the power of the name of Jesus that Cambodia will be transformed.

 

Our Lord Jesus is doing it, don’t you get it, Dad?

 

Don’t you see it, Dad?

 

Don’t you hear it, Dad?

 

It’s Him who has been beckoning us to inch towards the light. The very same light we are in right now is the very same light that will turn Cambodia into a land of milk and honey.

 

For the world to see a nation once being so tortured, oppressed and exploited, now being so transformed not by the hands of men, nor by the policy maker, nor by the UN ambassador, but by the church of Christ.

 

The power of self-denial, the power of self-sacrifice, the power of innocence, the power of faithfulness, the power of His love – this is the power for which all the world waits in breathless anticipation. Does it always know that it so waits? Hardly!! Yet when the Servant/Messiah, the “arm of the LORD”, is revealed to them, there is frequently that immediate sense of recognition, that satisfying click of a key fitting in a lock, of a vague memory suddenly coming to full consciousness.

 

 It is this spreading salvation creates a welcoming response in our hearts the world over!!   Isaiah 51:1-8 –

 

¹ “Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness
and who seek the LORD:
Look to the rock from which you were cut
and to the quarry from which you were hewn;
² look to Abraham, your father,
and to Sarah, who gave you birth.
When I called him he was only one man,
and I blessed him and made him many.
³ The LORD will surely comfort Zion
and will look with compassion on all her ruins;
he will make her deserts like Eden,
her wastelands like the garden of the LORD.
Joy and gladness will be found in her,
thanksgiving and the sound of singing.

 

⁴ “Listen to me, my people;
hear me, my nation:
Instruction will go out from me;
my justice will become a light to the nations.
⁵ My righteousness draws near speedily,
my salvation is on the way,
and my arm will bring justice to the nations.
The islands will look to me
and wait in hope for my arm.
⁶ Lift up your eyes to the heavens,
look at the earth beneath;
the heavens will vanish like smoke,
the earth will wear out like a garment
and its inhabitants die like flies.
But my salvation will last forever,
my righteousness will never fail.

⁷ “Hear me, you who know what is right,
you people who have taken my instruction to heart:
Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals
or be terrified by their insults.
⁸ For the moth will eat them up like a garment;
the worm will devour them like wool.
But my righteousness will last forever,
my salvation through all generations.”

 

… it takes a squirrel …

Paul asked me just now, “Did you see any more squirrel today?”  I said, “Not today, but do you remember the squirrel we saw 3 years ago?”   Paul said, “We saw one 3 years ago?”   I said, “You don’t remember?”  Laughing, I guess that is the difference between a man and a woman. 

The story went like this.  I saw a little squirrel yesterday morning, she – I wanted it to be girl – was running on the power line, and almost missed a step and fell, yet she was able to find the balance and continued on her way to go to the end of the other side. I smiled and my heart swelled not only because the squirrel is cute and is now in safety, not only because I received a sweet reminder of His love, provision and protection for us.  It is also because …

…. this little acrobatic squirrel is no stranger to me.  I saw one doing exactly the same thing in the same January winter month 3 years ago.  That was probably a few days after the Rexdale conference.   I was in that very dark place thinking of all the atrocities about Cambodia I heard over the weekend, and I was convicted and didn’t know what to do with that conviction. Paul and I were still in the first few days of praying, and I was voraciously writing about it on my journal, and was eagerly pondering whether I should email Lisa to thank her (or maybe take her out for lunch!!!)

Paul and I were in the car driving to catch the GO train for work.  It was brutally cold that morning, around 7ish am.  My heart was heavy for quite a few days during which I stayed home and spent my mornings and afternoons watching documentaries made about Cambodia and the issue of child sex trafficking.  I was appalled by what I saw and learnt.  The first day going back to work after a few days off, it felt like I needed to enter into the reality of my world for what I saw and learnt about Cambodia didn’t seem like a reality to me.  It was so far, and so devastated and I didn’t know what to do.

We were driving on a street just outside the GO station parking lot.  Then there was this very squirrel sprinting on the power line sprawling across from the north side of the street to the south side.   I saw her sprinting away and all of a sudden she missed a step on her right hindleg.  I was gasping, ‘Oh no!”  Then in a split second, she managed to find her balance and merrily went on her way and arrived safely to the other side.   I couldn’t help giggling and I remember that was the first relief off my heavy chest, and I giggled for the very first time.  Paul said to me “See!  I think the Lord is givng you this squirrel to cheer you up and to tell you it’s going to be okay, honey.  We will keep praying!!”

I remember that soo clearly because that little squirrel was my picker-upper on that January day.  I saw a glimpse of hope and received a sweet reminder from the Lord that, “The burden you feel for Cambodia was not only for the sake of hurting your emotions and storming your heart.  There is a reason.  Keep praying, and wait, I will show you.”  We did keep praying with a lot of tears, with a lot of wordless groaning.  I remember it clearly and dearly!!

So fast forward to yesterday, another January winter day, and seeing a squirrel missing a step on the power line is a sweet sight indeed.  I am sure it is not the same squirrel (or maybe it is!!)  It brought sweet memory to see another one, doing exctly the same thing, under the same month; and I was pretty much under the same state of mind.  Not as dark and helpless as I was, but I now come to encounter my Lord who has been beckoning me and my family to surrender all to Him.  

Dear Lord Jesus, you know the reason why we are here pleading for your mercy be upon Cambodia.  Whether she was of ancient ages, or of the present, we storm the gates of heaven for the power of oppression and injustice have no hold on her, for You are the Healer of all, for You restore the broken walls, for You renew the devastating cities, for You rebuild the ancient ruins.  We plead for Your healing and restoration by upon this land in the name of Jesus.  We come against all these in the name of Jesus even as we face the scheme of the enemy to destroy and discourage. We stand, we speak and we live in You, Lord Christ Jesus,  as You have all the authority in heaven and on earth.  You are the light that dispels darkness.   I pray that all that the enemy is trying to strike terror on the little ones, will immediately be frustrated and be held still and be dealt with in the powerful name of Jesus.   Let nothing and no one touch a strand of her hair or strike any fear and terror on her spirit.  For all of us here who are committed to intercede for Cambodia, may we never feel the shaking ground of disbelief and faithlessness because we are affirmed over and over again that we are grounded in You, in Your Love, in Your Grace, in Your Power, and in Your Truth.  Bring upon Cambodia Your Salvation, to be broken away from the bondage, bring upon Her all the peace, all the joy, and release her from the grip of the enemy as nothing of darkness can stand under Your Light  and Your Power.  We are asking You Lord as Your children for what is rightfully ours, for Your Power and Your Strength and Your Wisdom and Your Compassion for this long road of battle, yet we know the battle is Yours to fight and it is Yours to win!! 

In your powerful name we pray, we plead, because we trust in You alone, Lord!!  Amen!!

… when theirs are muffled and stifled …

Starting this blog 3 years ago was solely out of my hesitating attempt to document my heart journey  for Cambodia for the sake of updating my friends and family about this “precious stone” that the Lord gave me.  I still prefer looping my thoughts on my journal, but typing them out catches more before they slip away.  They often came to me in an email asking for updates and prayer requests.  Paragraphs after paragraphs after paragraphs I would write, well, how can I not as writing to me is like thinking with my fingers!  When God took me by the hand and showed me Cambodia, I needed to do a lot of thinking and understanding.  All of a sudden nothing is making any sense ever since.   When you are getting your fingers and hands dirty as you create, you would go dabbing a spot here and dabbing a spot there, and you would never thought those dabbing here and there are the basic components of the final piece you ended up with.

The work that the Lord prepared for me, the final piece of art that He holds up before my eyes as the finishing piece.   That’s what I have as of late; the finishing piece (i know it is only one of the many to come!).  A finishing piece of experiencing His hands on my shoulders.  He squared them, He propped them up, He armoured them, He soothed the pain, He patted them.   I heard Him saying to me, “Jessy, you have known those words and have traced those faces for many times and you remember them by heart already.  You don’t even need your notes to cheat your eyes, because your heart sees more than your eyes can see.”  My Lord is right.  My notes sat on my lap, untouched for the first time, as I delivered the presentation about Cambodia, about the plight of its children.  It’s the Lord who delivered it in that meeting room.  The pin-drop silence filled the room, it was then I know it’s the Holy Spirit who gripped their hearts.

I was reading Isaiah 46 the day before the meeting and it came to me as such harsh words to hear, but I know if I don’t trust Him and trust anything other than Him, that’s a big deal and that I cannot bear to see myself getting help from all fronts (a dearest friend offered to come with me, my dearest husband offered to drive me, and many others whom I know are lifting me up in prayers) but refuse His and His is more than enough.  Speaking of my amazing HUSBAND, have I written about that already?  Paul said he wished he could do more for me.  I said, “You are doing so much already.  Loving me, no yelling in the house (which I got accustomed to when I was a kid), no sobbing behind the closet (which I also got accustomed to when I was a teenager), no blaming, always supporting, praying over and for and with me, feeding me food, making me tea and coffee, not waking me up when I am snoring away and you thought, ‘where is that bass sound coming from?’  trusting in me, turning my weakness and faithlessness into something for you to love and embrace.”  I am weak, so weak.  I have so many things He bless me with, all that I care about is afraid of driving on the 401 under a potential mix of rain and snow and crazy drivers, and of course afraid of talking to people (go figure as I once was an extreme introvert!).  He trusted me with this responsibility by doing my part for Him, for SN, for C, for L, for S, for SV,  for P, for all the littles ones that He entrusted me to speak up for.  Oh Lord, those faces, those sweet faces are breathing under my nose.

In piles of emails, there is one standing out amongst the many, he wrote, “God would take us a long way when we would only love.”  That’s what keep him going after all these years of persevering through trials and disappointments, anguish and frustrations, sometimes at the verge of punching the bad guys.  Yet it is the Lord who would take us a long way when we would only love.  He doesn’t require us to do anything, all that He requires us is to love, love without judgment, love without condition, love even those who harm the children (I don’t think I can do that yet!), what a timely reminder!!  He is right, and what do I have is usable in His sight if I have not love?  Love for the Lord, and love for Cambodia, I know not what else I have in me to continue on to do this.  Everyday is a daily stripping away of my will and my fear, so His can take over and fill me up. I wrote on my journal years ago “I dare to ask You, Lord, can I do this for life?  Is that what You are calling me to do for the rest of life?  Can I be their voices when theirs are muffled and stifled?” I think the Lord answered me with a big grin “Your prayers are answered, now why the fear?”

The day before the presentation, this devotion came to my inbox.  No Fear In God’s Dwelling Place  Psalm 91:9-16   

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling-
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent

You have the Author and Finisher of faith in you to enable you to trust the unfailing protection of God Most High. He is exalted, omnipotent, supreme, and overwhelming in his majesty. He is your tender Abba, and his sure promises are found in his names: Most High, Dwelling Place, LORD, and Refuge. He is your shelter, your place of hope and trust, your home. In his names no evil can conquer you. Feel his strength in these names. He is with you. He is Commander of the armies of heaven who has no equal, and he cannot lose. He will command his angels to guard you, and when he commands, it is done. His angels will hold you up in their hands.

Yes, you will have to confront obstacles and be an overcomer. Some of the strongest obstacles are the lies that the enemy wants you to believe. Your adversary is the father of lies. Take your stand in confidence that you will tread upon the roaring lion and the serpent, the ancient foe, because Jesus already defeated him. You are a covenant son/daughter of God Most High. Be bold, be free, and take your rightful authority in your Protector.

Remember the character of your Father: God of all grace, Righteous Judge, Holy One, Compassionate and Faithful One, God of the impossible. Your birthright is to live in honor, dignity, and authority in Jesus’ name. You are on kingdom business every day everywhere you go under God’s orders. You represent your King as you carry out his kingdom business.

You can speak to God like this: “I am your covenant child, Most High God. I draw close to you. I dress myself in the armor of light. I plead the blood of Jesus over myself, my family, and my friends. I stand in the promises of Psalm 91. With Jesus Christ, my covenant-keeper at my side, the adversary has no authority over me, my family, my friends, or anything that touches my righteous jurisdiction. I will take my stand in the authority that is my heritage in Jesus’ name.”

God answers you with his promises in Psalm 91:14-16.

14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

You have set your love on God, and he promises to make you inaccessible to your enemies, because you know him intimately. You know his character, his honor, and his fame. He promises to pay attention to you and respond to you and answer you. He promises to be with you in all adversity, suffering, anguish, and distress. He promises to draw you out of a tight place and deliver you, because you are the object of his affectionate care. His crowning promise is that he will fill you with the satisfaction of a full life and show you his help, deliverance from distress, victory, welfare, well-being, and total forgiveness. In that you can be truly satisfied. Be blessed to be strong and of good courage, for his banner over you is love.

Be blessed in the name of the One who is the Banner of Love over you.

… are you one of them? …

Are you one of them??  If you are, please stop!!  Please stop doing what you are doing!!

If you have come to this blog because you have just googled “svay pak brothel” to search for little children to hurt, please stop and think again what you are doing. 

STOP HURTING LITTLE CHILDREN.  THIS IS WRONG.

… swiftly and sweetly …

I held my breath for 20+ minutes when the following speech delivered out of a man’s heart.  Now I am re-reading this again out of a computer screen, I find myself still holding my breath ….  my heart yearns for this nation and I pray under my breath for the Lord’s sweet fragrance sweep across this land, and indeed His is moving swiftly and sweetly!! 

“In the late 18th, early 19th century England, which was at that time the naval and economic power of the world, was subjected to the madness of one man.  A man, who over and over and over again, would not give‑up on what was on his heart.  He worked years for his goals.  That man was Wilberforce.  And his long journey started with education.  He needed to be educated about the problems of this world in order to make it personal for him.  For if things are not personal,  we simply do not have the drive to make change.

In making it personal he understood grief.  I believe we too will understand grief if we take it upon ourselves to look at some of the ugliness this world has to offer.  But, more than anything else, he applied his faith.  The celebrated acts of Wilberforce were not so much acts of social justice as they were a logical outworking of his faith.

Today’s slavery is no less grotesque.  It is no less daunting.  There are thousands of people in sex slavery just in Cambodia.  There are millions in slavery throughout the world.  Let’s be under no illusion this is brutal brutal stuff.  Western society has the luxury to look away, to change the channel, to isolate ourselves in this western affluent cocoon, to create a studied ignorance in which we all live.  God has no such luxury.  He is compelled to be involved because this for him is intensely personal.  There are no options if love is involved.  We can only love that which we know.

And so I’m excited to see you here this weekend [January 16-17, 2009]; that you are giving up time to learn and to know.  And my hope is that through the process of knowledge you will grow to love those who suffer, that that will become a personal thing for you.  The personal relationship that God has with all the unseen kids that we don’t know about drives him.  He is absolutely passionate for these children.

Rich Mullins, in one of his songs, has described the love of God as the “Reckless raging fury they call the love of God.”  I love that illustration.  For this is a father that is angered.  This is a father who rushes to the defence of his children.  Such love is not diminished, not sidetracked, not tamed, not domesticated, and it’s absolutely not afraid of grief.  So do we want to see as God sees?  Those are fearsome words.  That’s a very tall order for us.

What I’ve said to many people getting involved with Cambodia over the years is, “To learn to love Cambodia is to learn to grieve.”  Those two are absolutely joined.  We are subject to such grief if we chose to look into the darkness.  Like God, if you choose, you will share burdens, you will know grief, you may feel overwhelmed, you may experience trauma, you will know tears, as any of us who have worked in Cambodia know tears.

I would encourage you not to shy away from these things.  For such emotions are a picture of God’s heart for his children.  They drive us to action because it personalizes this.  These are no longer distant children, they become more and more real the more we learn.  That is dangerous stuff.  It’s life changing stuff.  But it’s very powerful stuff.

So, will all the hardships of the world, all the trauma of the children we are gonna hear about this weekend, will this drive us away?  Absolutely it will drive you away; if you do not have love.  Without love, don’t even start this process because that is what will keep you going.  That is the sole thing that keeps you going.

How much hardship, how much distress, how much grief would it take for you to give‑up on your own children if they were suffering?  There is no amount of hardship, there is not amount of grief, there is not amount of trauma.  Parents will keep coming back and coming back and coming back, year in, year out in the defence of their children.  And God calls us to make this whole issue, of far‑off children being exploited, personal.  He calls us to be as parents; driven.  That we will not give‑up, that we will not be dissuaded, that we will move forward whatever the difficulties, and we will see lives changed, claimed by him into joy.

And in so doing, despite all those negatives I’ve talked about, let me assure you that at the end of this process, and even as a blessing through this process, you can experience even joy as we see lives changed.  For this is a rich, rich thing, not easy, but it is a rich rich thing to serve our God for those who do not have a voice.

Wilberforce was faithful.  He was tenacious.  He was driven.  He was passionate.  He was a man of weakness.  He was a man that suffered from constant ill‑health.  In the great strong leaders we seek in the world today, he was a failure, but he had love and he had faith.  And he kept going for decades.

He stands as an example to us, of one who is tenacious.  His task was huge; ours is no less so.  But we work alongside the very same God he served.  And we have rights to expect the very same thing from God who loves his children and works for his glory in their lives.  I hope you experience just a little of that passion of God this weekend.  Thank you.”

… late have I loved you …

For those who know me (and know me well, ie. my husband especially), I am pretty good at remembering dates, your birthday, your anniversary, all kinds of dates somehow find their places to be stored, and every year, my mind would be spreading a road map reminding me of all these dates of significance.

There is a date that will always creep into my heart every year, and it is coming up soon. 3 years ago on this very day, my heart was ripped apart into pieces. I remember Pastor Sunder once said, “there are 2 significant days in your life: the day when you were born; and the day you realize why you were born.” January 16, 2009 was the day of the latter. I realize my heart was burnt opened leaving a hole knowing why I was created and put on this earth and given breath and life at this very time and space.  For Cambodia which I had no knowledge of, let alone with love and with sorrow.  3 years later, where I am and what I do right now is His promises given to me that I was born on this earth to fan the fire for people in Cambodia until it is raging out of control and no power of the enemy can stop it.   I wouldn’t have awakened to that call on my life if I had not sat through that 2 day conference with the growing love and sorrow mingled together for the nation of Cambodia.

As of late, the Lord keeps taking me back to the original vision that He gave me  3 years ago, He keeps bringing me home, a home that He set aside for me to feel comfortable in, and reminding me through His words, “Rend the heavens, and come down”, these 6 very words dazzled me for days and weeks in that very wintery January when we sought His face and His answer without a visible shore line.  We swam, we flipped, we kicked, we dived into the ocean of His love for Cambodia.  He opened our eyes, our hearts, our floodgates of tears, our verbal and non-verbal capability to intercede, we held hands in prayers, we had no words to groan for Cambodia anymore, we were given His words to fill in the blanks that only His heart and His salvation and His power could be the only population.  He is the One, True, Living God.  We are His people.  He is our Lord God.  Khmer people are His people. He is their Lord God.

Faith finds comfort in the power, in the goodness, in the purpose of God.  And I find comfort knowing I am walking on this journey of Faith, finding comfort in His power, in His goodness, and in His purpose, for this nation.  For Cambodia.  For the people who are in it.  For the people who feel dreaded to go back after 30+ years.  For the people who has no state of citizenship under the Kingdom of Cambodia, yet their citizenship is in the Kingdom of God.

Late have I loved you

O Beauty so ancient and so new,
late have I loved you!
You were within me, but I was outside,
and it was there that I searched for you.
In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created.
You were with me, but I was not with you.
Created things kept me from you;
yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all.
You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness.
You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness.
You breathed your fragrance on me;
I drew in breath and now I pant for you.
I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more.
You touched me, and I burned for your peace.

The Confessions of St. Augustine

… see, know, consider, understand …

I was sitting in the car without the engine on for an hour, shrivelling and shuffling my feet.  I was talking on the phone to someone miles away from me.  Someone to whom I give my priority and my time, that I rather to not do anything or drive anywhere (or even had to get Lilias to wait for an extra 45 minutes) but to give her my ears.

Someone who is about to fly to Cambodia this Friday. 

Someone whose heart was burdened for the very first time when I shared with her what was burdening in mine 2 years ago. 

Someone who had the audacity to ask me to share with her church about the immense hurts of Cambodia while I was immensely hurting inside, losing my dad not too many days ago then. 

Someone who was not even my friend to begin with, yet now she is someone whose heart is so close to mine as His heart is so close to hers.   

Someone whose obedience to the Lord take her to this present time as He is about to take her to see what He has in store for her. 

Someone I could share so freely even intimate struggle about “there seems to be a blunt stop when we could intercede no more, there seems to be an end, and that was when the Holy Spirit will continue to groan and intercede for us.” 

Someone whose journey for the hurting and the vulnerable is about to explode into a kaleidoscope. 

This morning I received a short email from another dear (oh so dear!) friend, I pray that this very passage is the passage for the friend who is about to walk on the streets of Poipet and to cross the border between Cambodia and Thailand, that she will be drenched in His rain of mercy and love and compassion, and bring with her His love, mercy and compassion wherever she goes and whatever she is about to see.  She will see them from His eyes, she will feel them from His heart, she will act upon them according to His invitation and will.     

I have been praying the prayer of David, when I am in my car praying for the little ones in Cambodia, praying ‘how long Lord will you hide your face from the wicked?” Well, today as I opened my bible this is what the Lord spoke: Paslm 72:1-7.  I especially like the part about the rain! How appropriate for today! He is so good!!!! : )

¹ Endow the king with your justice, O God,
the royal son with your righteousness.
² May he judge your people in righteousness,
your afflicted ones with justice.

³ May the mountains bring prosperity to the people,
the hills the fruit of righteousness.
⁴ May he defend the afflicted among the people
and save the children of the needy;
may he crush the oppressor.
⁵ May he endure as long as the sun,
as long as the moon, through all generations.
⁶ May he be like rain falling on a mown field,
like showers watering the earth.
⁷ In his days may the righteous flourish
and prosperity abound till the moon is no more.

I wrote back,

“I am drenching in His presence, today marks as such symbolically, the drenching (You are right!!), and of course, I forgot about my umbrella.  I am soaked when I walk up to Bay Street to work, yet ever more thankful for that!! 

The passage He gave me today is Isaiah 41:17 on, not only the rain coming down, but the rain will be gathered in forms of river, springs and pools, and fountains  … river flowing, springs shooting up, pools of water seeping through the dry land, and our parched tongues,

so that people may see, know, consider and understand … For us to Know Him, for the children in Cambodia to See Him, for all of us to Understand what He is doing even without us Seeing and knowing.  Oh Lord, we trust in You and we are waiting to be surprised at what You are currently doing and working in and amongst the little ones in Cambodia!!! 

May you all feel His presensce and drenched in His love today and tomorrow, and days and days after!!

 

… I will prop you up …

A devotion of today, a reminder of a lifetime: Isaiah 41

 ⁸ “But you, Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,
⁹ I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

God longs for us to draw strength from His greatness.  Do you see here how He lingers over His commitments to His people?  He chose us.  He called us.  He is committed to us.  People who have a sense of that in their hearts are unstoppable.  The word “but” at the beginning of these verses, Isaiah is drawing a contrast.  The nations nervously prop up their helpless, homemade saviours.  On the other hand, the Sovereign Lord of the universe chooses us and upholds us by His unerringly righteous right hand.  He is saying “I want you to know what you can expect from me: my presence, my strength, myhelp, my perfect support.”.  And when He calls us His servant, He is not putting us down.  He is saying we are HIS responsibility, and He will act responsibly.

 We live for God in this world, we are bound to stand out in an awkward way.  We even draw fire.  But totally apart from any imagined strength of our own, God is our Shield and Defender. 

¹³ For I am the LORD your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.

There are ocassions that I am gravitated toward the path of least resistance.  Yet the Lord anchored my heart and said, “I am not like those idols, those eye shutting with a smile on their faces idols.  I will prop you up.  Fear not.  Live for me with an audacius faith.  I am he, I am the LORD.”

The first of the 3 strong assurances in 41:8-20.  And when we are opposed, He will uphold us.  The 2nd assurance in in 41:14-16.  Isaiah is heaping reason upon reason for us to live out loud for God.

¹⁴ Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob,
little Israel, do not fear,
for I myself will help you,” declares the LORD,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
¹⁵ “See, I will make you into a threshing sledge,
new and sharp, with many teeth.
You will thresh the mountains and crush them,
and reduce the hills to chaff.
¹⁶ You will winnow them, the wind will pick them up,
and a gale will blow them away.
But you will rejoice in the LORD
and glory in the Holy One of Israel.  

He is saying He intends to use us to do it, to make every valley lifted up, every mountain and hill made low for the display of His glory.  We are totally inadequate.  But God makes a worm into a threshing sledge – and not an old, worn-out thresher but a sharp, new one, and have teeth.  Isaiah is not talking about Christian political power taking over.  He is talking about the gospel of human weakness triumphing over opposition and our timid faith overcoming the world. And that prepares the way of the Lord.  He makes us more than conquerors, for His glory.  And in HIS strength alone, our priviledge is to thresh into smithereens every obstacle to rejoicing in the Lord.  That’s our job, let’s get on with it, in the power of the Holy Spirit. 

The final emboldening assurance is in 41:17-20, the most thrilling of all to me personally.  God is a life-giving person. 

¹⁷ “The poor and needy search for water,
but there is none;
their tongues are parched with thirst.
But I the LORD will answer them;
I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
¹⁸ I will make rivers flow on barren heights,
and springs within the valleys.
I will turn the desert into pools of water,
and the parched ground into springs.
¹⁹ I will put in the desert
the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.
I will set junipers in the wasteland,
the fir and the cypress together,
²⁰ so that people may see and know,
may consider and understand,
that the hand of the LORD has done this,
that the Holy One of Israel has created it.

We get the mercy, He gets the glory.  So the answer to the qusetion “Who?”  in 41:2 is grander than we might have thought.  The One stirring up the turbulence of history is not someone to dread; by His sovereign greatness He also pours life-giving refreshment upon dry people.  Water outpoured symbolizes bountiful salvation overflowing with the Holy Spirit.  When thirsty people “seek water” in prayer, God answers with the greatest gift in the universe: Himself in his immediacy and fullness.  He promises not just a morning dew or a light sprinkling but rivers and fountains and pools and springs.  We need that much of God. 

By refreshing us, God increases His own glory.  The outflowings of His renewing grace open people’s minds to see, know, consider, and understand how good He really is.  The most convincing witness in a truth-denying world is not an apologetic argument of our own brillance; the most convincing answer to our times is the manifest presence of God in our midst. 

Stake your life, your very survival, on the reality of the Holy Spirit.  Think of Him, and treat Him and pray to Him in keeping iwth his own self-revelation in His word.  Believe that the Sovereign Lord can uphold you, strengthen you, refresh you.  he will make you invincible. 

Am I a living proof of what God can do?  May the Holy Spirit guide me into His presence to weep, to repent and look to Christ alone, because authentic Christianity is miracle, not management. 

Sources: Robert C. Ortland Jr.

Isaiah 41 is the passage by which I am being so blown away.   My recent devotion is to work through the book of Isaiah, this comes to me as a big reminder.   It’s the hands of the Lord has done this.  What we are called to do is to do whatever it takes to bring Him the glory He deserves.  To live audaciously for Him. A whole new lesson for me to experience how difficult to tread on roads untravelled and yet that is exactly what His cross invites us to walk.  To take up the cross and follow Him, despite the costly cost!

The Lord is good and so consistent to see from the same power of His shine in Cambodia, and to His strength sippping in me when I deal with responsibilities on this side of the pond. Our great God is here announcing He is the one, I am he, I am the Lord, though the world would incline to go to goldsmith for hammering idols with nails and all.  Yet the Lord beckons us to trust Him, not the little hammered idos with nails and gold and silver.  “Live for me, I will prop you up, not the little idols from the world.  Live in audacious faith, for me, for me alone”.  Such a road untravelled by many, yet bring about the essence of how His glory shines when He hangs on the cross.  I am challenged, yet I would not trade for anything for journeying on with Him. 

Merely from my own brokenness and weakness, His supernatural power shines so bright on roads so narrow, yet He knows, and I trust Him even when I walk on roads with thorns.  I would covet your prayers to speak in humility and with love, may His name be glorified and be the front and the centre, be on the left and on the right, be my inside and outside, on my tongue, in my breath, in my heart, in my actions.

On another front, I feel so priviledged to do all these for the Lord!!  Like a pressure cooker I am at right now, yet in such a confined container, I can see His face shining and His vision showing “this is what I called you to do.”  He shows me the “Joy of the Redeemed”, He shows me the horror of that pink room, yet also the glory of His redemption rescuing and restoring children out of that pink room.  He shows me His promises for us is ever so bigger and louder!!  He is ever more so trusthworthy and faithful!!  Praise God from whom all blessings flow, to be chosen by Him.  I love You Lord so much so much!

… I hope I can say …

On a day like today, news like the following keep running to our inbox despite it’s the eve of Christmas Eve, when people’s hearts are merry and full of green and red stringing lights, the darkness continues creeping in on the other side of the globe.  I could hear someone singing Christmas song in the office, I hold up my tears when one walks by my desk when I read the following:

The Phnom Penh Post, December 23, 2011:: A second paedophile walked free from Preah Sihanouk Provincial Prison on Tuesday after receiving a royal pardon, its director said yesterday.

German national Alexander Watrin – who had been serving a seven-year sentence for sex crimes against four boys under the age of 15 – was freed on the same day as Russian paedophile Alexander Trofimov, prison director Pich Veasna said yesterday. 

“He served nearly six years of his seven years sentence, so he also walked free from prison like Trofimov,” Pich Veasna told the Post. He said he did not know where either had gone and declined to comment when asked what effect their early release would have on their victims. 

Opposition MP and social activist Mu Sochua said she felt sickened when she heard of Trofimov’s release.

“I was sick to my stomach. I felt totally, totally exhausted. We have a moral obligation to protect our children from such characters. We have a moral obligation to expel [the pair],” she said.

“For all of those working for social justice, this hurts our morale, but it does not alter our conscience. It is not too late for Cambodia,” she said, reiterating that the government had a “moral obligation” to deport the two convicted paedophiles. “Otherwise, they are saying money can buy anything here, even our children.”

Watrin had been sentenced to 10 years in prison in October 2006, but the Court of Appeal reduced this by three years in 2009. Sochua pointed to the reduced sentences both men had received as dangerous signals. “The groups that protect children do such a great job, and there are so many police officers who work so hard to help, but the courts are corrupt. Freedom can be bought,” she said.

I am thankful that I was reading Isaiah 35 on my way in to work this morning, “Joy of the Redeemed”.  All I could manage is to blurt out the following to Paul who may be the only one today who would want to engage a conversation like this with me: 

………………….. and how these sickals could never ever walk along with the Redeemed unless they repent, Paul, like how your prayed the other night, we ask the Lord to put shame into their hearts, to look rightly and squarely into their sin, ugly ugly disgusted sin, and run to our Lord for mercy.  His wrath is huge and no one can be exempt from it.  No corruption can exempt anyone from His wrath. No money can buy anyone out from His wrath if these 2 men (and many many others) continue their wicked ways. We pray because we believe this is the only way to demolish the enemy’s stronghold on this.  We pray into the heart of wicked, to break the chain, to release your mercy onto the victims, onto the boys and girls around Sihanoukville. 

Paul: Amen to all of that!

“It is such a pedophilia haven.   Father God, may Your spring of life comes upon all these little ones, and those who are trapped in it for years.  May your waves of mercy like the water ebbing and flowing to and from the beach washing their shame and guilt away. Ebbing and flowing endlessly to wash them and clean them.  May they stand tall and be washed by You, protected from the enemy foes.  Father God, whom can we trust, but You? whom shall we pray to, but You?

Paul: Amen and amen!!

“As we pray with our hearts slashed open by such news, day after day after day, may our faith continue to explode into madness for you, and to ask for your power and strength as we intercede even on a day seems quiet and merry at this end.  We intercede, nothing would stop us from interceding for your children are suffering and exploited as we breath here.  I am angry and disgusted by the enemy’s endless destruction on your precious precious, yet your power is more mighty and powerful than what is in this world.  We trust in You, God, we trust and lay our hope, even if there is only one thread left, we lay ours in You, and You alone.  In your Son’s powerful name who could break apart anything and break into our hearts, we pray!!

Paul: Amen!!

Please, be my strength, for I don’t have it anymore. And at my final breath, I hope I can say, I fought the good fight of faith,  I pray Your glory shines, this doubting heart of mine, and all would know that You.  You Are My Strength. You and You alone, keep bringing me back home.