The story went like this.  I saw a little squirrel yesterday morning, she – I wanted it to be girl – was running on the power line, and almost missed a step and fell, yet she was able to find the balance and continued on her way to go to the end of the other side. I smiled and my heart swelled not only because the squirrel is cute and is now in safety, not only because I received a sweet reminder of His love, provision and protection for us.  It is also because …

…. this little acrobatic squirrel is no stranger to me.  I saw one doing exactly the same thing in the same January winter month 3 years ago.  That was probably a few days after the Rexdale conference.   I was in that very dark place thinking of all the atrocities about Cambodia I heard over the weekend, and I was convicted and didn’t know what to do with that conviction. Paul and I were still in the first few days of praying, and I was voraciously writing about it on my journal, and was eagerly pondering whether I should email Lisa to thank her (or maybe take her out for lunch!!!)

Paul and I were in the car driving to catch the GO train for work.  It was brutally cold that morning, around 7ish am.  My heart was heavy for quite a few days during which I stayed home and spent my mornings and afternoons watching documentaries made about Cambodia and the issue of child sex trafficking.  I was appalled by what I saw and learnt.  The first day going back to work after a few days off, it felt like I needed to enter into the reality of my world for what I saw and learnt about Cambodia didn’t seem like a reality to me.  It was so far, and so devastated and I didn’t know what to do.

We were driving on a street just outside the GO station parking lot.  Then there was this very squirrel sprinting on the power line sprawling across from the north side of the street to the south side.   I saw her sprinting away and all of a sudden she missed a step on her right hindleg.  I was gasping, ‘Oh no!”  Then in a split second, she managed to find her balance and merrily went on her way and arrived safely to the other side.   I couldn’t help giggling and I remember that was the first relief off my heavy chest, and I giggled for the very first time.  Paul said to me “See!  I think the Lord is givng you this squirrel to cheer you up and to tell you it’s going to be okay, honey.  We will keep praying!!”

I remember that soo clearly because that little squirrel was my picker-upper on that January day.  I saw a glimpse of hope and received a sweet reminder from the Lord that, “The burden you feel for Cambodia was not only for the sake of hurting your emotions and storming your heart.  There is a reason.  Keep praying, and wait, I will show you.”  We did keep praying with a lot of tears, with a lot of wordless groaning.  I remember it clearly and dearly!!

So fast forward to yesterday, another January winter day, and seeing a squirrel missing a step on the power line is a sweet sight indeed.  I am sure it is not the same squirrel (or maybe it is!!)  It brought sweet memory to see another one, doing exctly the same thing, under the same month; and I was pretty much under the same state of mind.  Not as dark and helpless as I was, but I now come to encounter my Lord who has been beckoning me and my family to surrender all to Him.  

Dear Lord Jesus, you know the reason why we are here pleading for your mercy be upon Cambodia.  Whether she was of ancient ages, or of the present, we storm the gates of heaven for the power of oppression and injustice have no hold on her, for You are the Healer of all, for You restore the broken walls, for You renew the devastating cities, for You rebuild the ancient ruins.  We plead for Your healing and restoration by upon this land in the name of Jesus.  We come against all these in the name of Jesus even as we face the scheme of the enemy to destroy and discourage. We stand, we speak and we live in You, Lord Christ Jesus,  as You have all the authority in heaven and on earth.  You are the light that dispels darkness.   I pray that all that the enemy is trying to strike terror on the little ones, will immediately be frustrated and be held still and be dealt with in the powerful name of Jesus.   Let nothing and no one touch a strand of her hair or strike any fear and terror on her spirit.  For all of us here who are committed to intercede for Cambodia, may we never feel the shaking ground of disbelief and faithlessness because we are affirmed over and over again that we are grounded in You, in Your Love, in Your Grace, in Your Power, and in Your Truth.  Bring upon Cambodia Your Salvation, to be broken away from the bondage, bring upon Her all the peace, all the joy, and release her from the grip of the enemy as nothing of darkness can stand under Your Light  and Your Power.  We are asking You Lord as Your children for what is rightfully ours, for Your Power and Your Strength and Your Wisdom and Your Compassion for this long road of battle, yet we know the battle is Yours to fight and it is Yours to win!! 

In your powerful name we pray, we plead, because we trust in You alone, Lord!!  Amen!!

The work that the Lord prepared for me, the final piece of art that He holds up before my eyes as the finishing piece.   That’s what I have as of late; the finishing piece (i know it is only one of the many to come!).  A finishing piece of experiencing His hands on my shoulders.  He squared them, He propped them up, He armoured them, He soothed the pain, He patted them.   I heard Him saying to me, “Jessy, you have known those words and have traced those faces for many times and you remember them by heart already.  You don’t even need your notes to cheat your eyes, because your heart sees more than your eyes can see.”  My Lord is right.  My notes sat on my lap, untouched for the first time, as I delivered the presentation about Cambodia, about the plight of its children.  It’s the Lord who delivered it in that meeting room.  The pin-drop silence filled the room, it was then I know it’s the Holy Spirit who gripped their hearts.

I was reading Isaiah 46 the day before the meeting and it came to me as such harsh words to hear, but I know if I don’t trust Him and trust anything other than Him, that’s a big deal and that I cannot bear to see myself getting help from all fronts (a dearest friend offered to come with me, my dearest husband offered to drive me, and many others whom I know are lifting me up in prayers) but refuse His and His is more than enough.  Speaking of my amazing HUSBAND, have I written about that already?  Paul said he wished he could do more for me.  I said, “You are doing so much already.  Loving me, no yelling in the house (which I got accustomed to when I was a kid), no sobbing behind the closet (which I also got accustomed to when I was a teenager), no blaming, always supporting, praying over and for and with me, feeding me food, making me tea and coffee, not waking me up when I am snoring away and you thought, ‘where is that bass sound coming from?’  trusting in me, turning my weakness and faithlessness into something for you to love and embrace.”  I am weak, so weak.  I have so many things He bless me with, all that I care about is afraid of driving on the 401 under a potential mix of rain and snow and crazy drivers, and of course afraid of talking to people (go figure as I once was an extreme introvert!).  He trusted me with this responsibility by doing my part for Him, for SN, for C, for L, for S, for SV,  for P, for all the littles ones that He entrusted me to speak up for.  Oh Lord, those faces, those sweet faces are breathing under my nose.

In piles of emails, there is one standing out amongst the many, he wrote, “God would take us a long way when we would only love.”  That’s what keep him going after all these years of persevering through trials and disappointments, anguish and frustrations, sometimes at the verge of punching the bad guys.  Yet it is the Lord who would take us a long way when we would only love.  He doesn’t require us to do anything, all that He requires us is to love, love without judgment, love without condition, love even those who harm the children (I don’t think I can do that yet!), what a timely reminder!!  He is right, and what do I have is usable in His sight if I have not love?  Love for the Lord, and love for Cambodia, I know not what else I have in me to continue on to do this.  Everyday is a daily stripping away of my will and my fear, so His can take over and fill me up. I wrote on my journal years ago “I dare to ask You, Lord, can I do this for life?  Is that what You are calling me to do for the rest of life?  Can I be their voices when theirs are muffled and stifled?” I think the Lord answered me with a big grin “Your prayers are answered, now why the fear?”

The day before the presentation, this devotion came to my inbox.  No Fear In God’s Dwelling Place  Psalm 91:9-16   

You have the Author and Finisher of faith in you to enable you to trust the unfailing protection of God Most High. He is exalted, omnipotent, supreme, and overwhelming in his majesty. He is your tender Abba, and his sure promises are found in his names: Most High, Dwelling Place, LORD, and Refuge. He is your shelter, your place of hope and trust, your home. In his names no evil can conquer you. Feel his strength in these names. He is with you. He is Commander of the armies of heaven who has no equal, and he cannot lose. He will command his angels to guard you, and when he commands, it is done. His angels will hold you up in their hands.

Yes, you will have to confront obstacles and be an overcomer. Some of the strongest obstacles are the lies that the enemy wants you to believe. Your adversary is the father of lies. Take your stand in confidence that you will tread upon the roaring lion and the serpent, the ancient foe, because Jesus already defeated him. You are a covenant son/daughter of God Most High. Be bold, be free, and take your rightful authority in your Protector.

Remember the character of your Father: God of all grace, Righteous Judge, Holy One, Compassionate and Faithful One, God of the impossible. Your birthright is to live in honor, dignity, and authority in Jesus’ name. You are on kingdom business every day everywhere you go under God’s orders. You represent your King as you carry out his kingdom business.

You can speak to God like this: “I am your covenant child, Most High God. I draw close to you. I dress myself in the armor of light. I plead the blood of Jesus over myself, my family, and my friends. I stand in the promises of Psalm 91. With Jesus Christ, my covenant-keeper at my side, the adversary has no authority over me, my family, my friends, or anything that touches my righteous jurisdiction. I will take my stand in the authority that is my heritage in Jesus’ name.”

God answers you with his promises in Psalm 91:14-16.

You have set your love on God, and he promises to make you inaccessible to your enemies, because you know him intimately. You know his character, his honor, and his fame. He promises to pay attention to you and respond to you and answer you. He promises to be with you in all adversity, suffering, anguish, and distress. He promises to draw you out of a tight place and deliver you, because you are the object of his affectionate care. His crowning promise is that he will fill you with the satisfaction of a full life and show you his help, deliverance from distress, victory, welfare, well-being, and total forgiveness. In that you can be truly satisfied. Be blessed to be strong and of good courage, for his banner over you is love.

Be blessed in the name of the One who is the Banner of Love over you.

If you have come to this blog because you have just googled “svay pak brothel” to search for little children to hurt, please stop and think again what you are doing. 

STOP HURTING LITTLE CHILDREN.  THIS IS WRONG.

“In the late 18th, early 19th century England, which was at that time the naval and economic power of the world, was subjected to the madness of one man.  A man, who over and over and over again, would not give‑up on what was on his heart.  He worked years for his goals.  That man was Wilberforce.  And his long journey started with education.  He needed to be educated about the problems of this world in order to make it personal for him.  For if things are not personal,  we simply do not have the drive to make change.

In making it personal he understood grief.  I believe we too will understand grief if we take it upon ourselves to look at some of the ugliness this world has to offer.  But, more than anything else, he applied his faith.  The celebrated acts of Wilberforce were not so much acts of social justice as they were a logical outworking of his faith.

Today’s slavery is no less grotesque.  It is no less daunting.  There are thousands of people in sex slavery just in Cambodia.  There are millions in slavery throughout the world.  Let’s be under no illusion this is brutal brutal stuff.  Western society has the luxury to look away, to change the channel, to isolate ourselves in this western affluent cocoon, to create a studied ignorance in which we all live.  God has no such luxury.  He is compelled to be involved because this for him is intensely personal.  There are no options if love is involved.  We can only love that which we know.

And so I’m excited to see you here this weekend [January 16-17, 2009]; that you are giving up time to learn and to know.  And my hope is that through the process of knowledge you will grow to love those who suffer, that that will become a personal thing for you.  The personal relationship that God has with all the unseen kids that we don’t know about drives him.  He is absolutely passionate for these children.

Rich Mullins, in one of his songs, has described the love of God as the “Reckless raging fury they call the love of God.”  I love that illustration.  For this is a father that is angered.  This is a father who rushes to the defence of his children.  Such love is not diminished, not sidetracked, not tamed, not domesticated, and it’s absolutely not afraid of grief.  So do we want to see as God sees?  Those are fearsome words.  That’s a very tall order for us.

What I’ve said to many people getting involved with Cambodia over the years is, “To learn to love Cambodia is to learn to grieve.”  Those two are absolutely joined.  We are subject to such grief if we chose to look into the darkness.  Like God, if you choose, you will share burdens, you will know grief, you may feel overwhelmed, you may experience trauma, you will know tears, as any of us who have worked in Cambodia know tears.

I would encourage you not to shy away from these things.  For such emotions are a picture of God’s heart for his children.  They drive us to action because it personalizes this.  These are no longer distant children, they become more and more real the more we learn.  That is dangerous stuff.  It’s life changing stuff.  But it’s very powerful stuff.

So, will all the hardships of the world, all the trauma of the children we are gonna hear about this weekend, will this drive us away?  Absolutely it will drive you away; if you do not have love.  Without love, don’t even start this process because that is what will keep you going.  That is the sole thing that keeps you going.

How much hardship, how much distress, how much grief would it take for you to give‑up on your own children if they were suffering?  There is no amount of hardship, there is not amount of grief, there is not amount of trauma.  Parents will keep coming back and coming back and coming back, year in, year out in the defence of their children.  And God calls us to make this whole issue, of far‑off children being exploited, personal.  He calls us to be as parents; driven.  That we will not give‑up, that we will not be dissuaded, that we will move forward whatever the difficulties, and we will see lives changed, claimed by him into joy.

And in so doing, despite all those negatives I’ve talked about, let me assure you that at the end of this process, and even as a blessing through this process, you can experience even joy as we see lives changed.  For this is a rich, rich thing, not easy, but it is a rich rich thing to serve our God for those who do not have a voice.

Wilberforce was faithful.  He was tenacious.  He was driven.  He was passionate.  He was a man of weakness.  He was a man that suffered from constant ill‑health.  In the great strong leaders we seek in the world today, he was a failure, but he had love and he had faith.  And he kept going for decades.

He stands as an example to us, of one who is tenacious.  His task was huge; ours is no less so.  But we work alongside the very same God he served.  And we have rights to expect the very same thing from God who loves his children and works for his glory in their lives.  I hope you experience just a little of that passion of God this weekend.  Thank you.”

There is a date that will always creep into my heart every year, and it is coming up soon. 3 years ago on this very day, my heart was ripped apart into pieces. I remember Pastor Sunder once said, “there are 2 significant days in your life: the day when you were born; and the day you realize why you were born.” January 16, 2009 was the day of the latter. I realize my heart was burnt opened leaving a hole knowing why I was created and put on this earth and given breath and life at this very time and space.  For Cambodia which I had no knowledge of, let alone with love and with sorrow.  3 years later, where I am and what I do right now is His promises given to me that I was born on this earth to fan the fire for people in Cambodia until it is raging out of control and no power of the enemy can stop it.   I wouldn’t have awakened to that call on my life if I had not sat through that 2 day conference with the growing love and sorrow mingled together for the nation of Cambodia.

As of late, the Lord keeps taking me back to the original vision that He gave me  3 years ago, He keeps bringing me home, a home that He set aside for me to feel comfortable in, and reminding me through His words, “Rend the heavens, and come down”, these 6 very words dazzled me for days and weeks in that very wintery January when we sought His face and His answer without a visible shore line.  We swam, we flipped, we kicked, we dived into the ocean of His love for Cambodia.  He opened our eyes, our hearts, our floodgates of tears, our verbal and non-verbal capability to intercede, we held hands in prayers, we had no words to groan for Cambodia anymore, we were given His words to fill in the blanks that only His heart and His salvation and His power could be the only population.  He is the One, True, Living God.  We are His people.  He is our Lord God.  Khmer people are His people. He is their Lord God.

Faith finds comfort in the power, in the goodness, in the purpose of God.  And I find comfort knowing I am walking on this journey of Faith, finding comfort in His power, in His goodness, and in His purpose, for this nation.  For Cambodia.  For the people who are in it.  For the people who feel dreaded to go back after 30+ years.  For the people who has no state of citizenship under the Kingdom of Cambodia, yet their citizenship is in the Kingdom of God.

Late have I loved you

O Beauty so ancient and so new,
late have I loved you!
You were within me, but I was outside,
and it was there that I searched for you.
In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created.
You were with me, but I was not with you.
Created things kept me from you;
yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all.
You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness.
You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness.
You breathed your fragrance on me;
I drew in breath and now I pant for you.
I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more.
You touched me, and I burned for your peace.

The Confessions of St. Augustine

Someone who is about to fly to Cambodia this Friday. 

Someone whose heart was burdened for the very first time when I shared with her what was burdening in mine 2 years ago. 

Someone who had the audacity to ask me to share with her church about the immense hurts of Cambodia while I was immensely hurting inside, losing my dad not too many days ago then. 

Someone who was not even my friend to begin with, yet now she is someone whose heart is so close to mine as His heart is so close to hers.   

Someone whose obedience to the Lord take her to this present time as He is about to take her to see what He has in store for her. 

Someone I could share so freely even intimate struggle about “there seems to be a blunt stop when we could intercede no more, there seems to be an end, and that was when the Holy Spirit will continue to groan and intercede for us.” 

Someone whose journey for the hurting and the vulnerable is about to explode into a kaleidoscope. 

This morning I received a short email from another dear (oh so dear!) friend, I pray that this very passage is the passage for the friend who is about to walk on the streets of Poipet and to cross the border between Cambodia and Thailand, that she will be drenched in His rain of mercy and love and compassion, and bring with her His love, mercy and compassion wherever she goes and whatever she is about to see.  She will see them from His eyes, she will feel them from His heart, she will act upon them according to His invitation and will.     

I have been praying the prayer of David, when I am in my car praying for the little ones in Cambodia, praying ‘how long Lord will you hide your face from the wicked?” Well, today as I opened my bible this is what the Lord spoke: Paslm 72:1-7.  I especially like the part about the rain! How appropriate for today! He is so good!!!! : )

¹ Endow the king with your justice, O God,
the royal son with your righteousness.
² May he judge your people in righteousness,
your afflicted ones with justice.

³ May the mountains bring prosperity to the people,
the hills the fruit of righteousness.
⁴ May he defend the afflicted among the people
and save the children of the needy;
may he crush the oppressor.
⁵ May he endure as long as the sun,
as long as the moon, through all generations.
⁶ May he be like rain falling on a mown field,
like showers watering the earth.
⁷ In his days may the righteous flourish
and prosperity abound till the moon is no more.

I wrote back,

“I am drenching in His presence, today marks as such symbolically, the drenching (You are right!!), and of course, I forgot about my umbrella.  I am soaked when I walk up to Bay Street to work, yet ever more thankful for that!! 

The passage He gave me today is Isaiah 41:17 on, not only the rain coming down, but the rain will be gathered in forms of river, springs and pools, and fountains  … river flowing, springs shooting up, pools of water seeping through the dry land, and our parched tongues,

so that people may see, know, consider and understand … For us to Know Him, for the children in Cambodia to See Him, for all of us to Understand what He is doing even without us Seeing and knowing.  Oh Lord, we trust in You and we are waiting to be surprised at what You are currently doing and working in and amongst the little ones in Cambodia!!! 

May you all feel His presensce and drenched in His love today and tomorrow, and days and days after!!

 ⁸ “But you, Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,
⁹ I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

God longs for us to draw strength from His greatness.  Do you see here how He lingers over His commitments to His people?  He chose us.  He called us.  He is committed to us.  People who have a sense of that in their hearts are unstoppable.  The word “but” at the beginning of these verses, Isaiah is drawing a contrast.  The nations nervously prop up their helpless, homemade saviours.  On the other hand, the Sovereign Lord of the universe chooses us and upholds us by His unerringly righteous right hand.  He is saying “I want you to know what you can expect from me: my presence, my strength, myhelp, my perfect support.”.  And when He calls us His servant, He is not putting us down.  He is saying we are HIS responsibility, and He will act responsibly.

 We live for God in this world, we are bound to stand out in an awkward way.  We even draw fire.  But totally apart from any imagined strength of our own, God is our Shield and Defender. 

¹³ For I am the LORD your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.

There are ocassions that I am gravitated toward the path of least resistance.  Yet the Lord anchored my heart and said, “I am not like those idols, those eye shutting with a smile on their faces idols.  I will prop you up.  Fear not.  Live for me with an audacius faith.  I am he, I am the LORD.”

The first of the 3 strong assurances in 41:8-20.  And when we are opposed, He will uphold us.  The 2nd assurance in in 41:14-16.  Isaiah is heaping reason upon reason for us to live out loud for God.

¹⁴ Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob,
little Israel, do not fear,
for I myself will help you,” declares the LORD,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
¹⁵ “See, I will make you into a threshing sledge,
new and sharp, with many teeth.
You will thresh the mountains and crush them,
and reduce the hills to chaff.
¹⁶ You will winnow them, the wind will pick them up,
and a gale will blow them away.
But you will rejoice in the LORD
and glory in the Holy One of Israel.  

He is saying He intends to use us to do it, to make every valley lifted up, every mountain and hill made low for the display of His glory.  We are totally inadequate.  But God makes a worm into a threshing sledge – and not an old, worn-out thresher but a sharp, new one, and have teeth.  Isaiah is not talking about Christian political power taking over.  He is talking about the gospel of human weakness triumphing over opposition and our timid faith overcoming the world. And that prepares the way of the Lord.  He makes us more than conquerors, for His glory.  And in HIS strength alone, our priviledge is to thresh into smithereens every obstacle to rejoicing in the Lord.  That’s our job, let’s get on with it, in the power of the Holy Spirit. 

The final emboldening assurance is in 41:17-20, the most thrilling of all to me personally.  God is a life-giving person. 

¹⁷ “The poor and needy search for water,
but there is none;
their tongues are parched with thirst.
But I the LORD will answer them;
I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
¹⁸ I will make rivers flow on barren heights,
and springs within the valleys.
I will turn the desert into pools of water,
and the parched ground into springs.
¹⁹ I will put in the desert
the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.
I will set junipers in the wasteland,
the fir and the cypress together,
²⁰ so that people may see and know,
may consider and understand,
that the hand of the LORD has done this,
that the Holy One of Israel has created it.

We get the mercy, He gets the glory.  So the answer to the qusetion “Who?”  in 41:2 is grander than we might have thought.  The One stirring up the turbulence of history is not someone to dread; by His sovereign greatness He also pours life-giving refreshment upon dry people.  Water outpoured symbolizes bountiful salvation overflowing with the Holy Spirit.  When thirsty people “seek water” in prayer, God answers with the greatest gift in the universe: Himself in his immediacy and fullness.  He promises not just a morning dew or a light sprinkling but rivers and fountains and pools and springs.  We need that much of God. 

By refreshing us, God increases His own glory.  The outflowings of His renewing grace open people’s minds to see, know, consider, and understand how good He really is.  The most convincing witness in a truth-denying world is not an apologetic argument of our own brillance; the most convincing answer to our times is the manifest presence of God in our midst. 

Stake your life, your very survival, on the reality of the Holy Spirit.  Think of Him, and treat Him and pray to Him in keeping iwth his own self-revelation in His word.  Believe that the Sovereign Lord can uphold you, strengthen you, refresh you.  he will make you invincible. 

Am I a living proof of what God can do?  May the Holy Spirit guide me into His presence to weep, to repent and look to Christ alone, because authentic Christianity is miracle, not management. 

Sources: Robert C. Ortland Jr.

Isaiah 41 is the passage by which I am being so blown away.   My recent devotion is to work through the book of Isaiah, this comes to me as a big reminder.   It’s the hands of the Lord has done this.  What we are called to do is to do whatever it takes to bring Him the glory He deserves.  To live audaciously for Him. A whole new lesson for me to experience how difficult to tread on roads untravelled and yet that is exactly what His cross invites us to walk.  To take up the cross and follow Him, despite the costly cost!

The Lord is good and so consistent to see from the same power of His shine in Cambodia, and to His strength sippping in me when I deal with responsibilities on this side of the pond. Our great God is here announcing He is the one, I am he, I am the Lord, though the world would incline to go to goldsmith for hammering idols with nails and all.  Yet the Lord beckons us to trust Him, not the little hammered idos with nails and gold and silver.  “Live for me, I will prop you up, not the little idols from the world.  Live in audacious faith, for me, for me alone”.  Such a road untravelled by many, yet bring about the essence of how His glory shines when He hangs on the cross.  I am challenged, yet I would not trade for anything for journeying on with Him. 

Merely from my own brokenness and weakness, His supernatural power shines so bright on roads so narrow, yet He knows, and I trust Him even when I walk on roads with thorns.  I would covet your prayers to speak in humility and with love, may His name be glorified and be the front and the centre, be on the left and on the right, be my inside and outside, on my tongue, in my breath, in my heart, in my actions.

On another front, I feel so priviledged to do all these for the Lord!!  Like a pressure cooker I am at right now, yet in such a confined container, I can see His face shining and His vision showing “this is what I called you to do.”  He shows me the “Joy of the Redeemed”, He shows me the horror of that pink room, yet also the glory of His redemption rescuing and restoring children out of that pink room.  He shows me His promises for us is ever so bigger and louder!!  He is ever more so trusthworthy and faithful!!  Praise God from whom all blessings flow, to be chosen by Him.  I love You Lord so much so much!

The Phnom Penh Post, December 23, 2011:: A second paedophile walked free from Preah Sihanouk Provincial Prison on Tuesday after receiving a royal pardon, its director said yesterday.

German national Alexander Watrin – who had been serving a seven-year sentence for sex crimes against four boys under the age of 15 – was freed on the same day as Russian paedophile Alexander Trofimov, prison director Pich Veasna said yesterday. 

“He served nearly six years of his seven years sentence, so he also walked free from prison like Trofimov,” Pich Veasna told the Post. He said he did not know where either had gone and declined to comment when asked what effect their early release would have on their victims. 

Opposition MP and social activist Mu Sochua said she felt sickened when she heard of Trofimov’s release.

“I was sick to my stomach. I felt totally, totally exhausted. We have a moral obligation to protect our children from such characters. We have a moral obligation to expel [the pair],” she said.

“For all of those working for social justice, this hurts our morale, but it does not alter our conscience. It is not too late for Cambodia,” she said, reiterating that the government had a “moral obligation” to deport the two convicted paedophiles. “Otherwise, they are saying money can buy anything here, even our children.”

Watrin had been sentenced to 10 years in prison in October 2006, but the Court of Appeal reduced this by three years in 2009. Sochua pointed to the reduced sentences both men had received as dangerous signals. “The groups that protect children do such a great job, and there are so many police officers who work so hard to help, but the courts are corrupt. Freedom can be bought,” she said.

I am thankful that I was reading Isaiah 35 on my way in to work this morning, “Joy of the Redeemed”.  All I could manage is to blurt out the following to Paul who may be the only one today who would want to engage a conversation like this with me: 

………………….. and how these sickals could never ever walk along with the Redeemed unless they repent, Paul, like how your prayed the other night, we ask the Lord to put shame into their hearts, to look rightly and squarely into their sin, ugly ugly disgusted sin, and run to our Lord for mercy.  His wrath is huge and no one can be exempt from it.  No corruption can exempt anyone from His wrath. No money can buy anyone out from His wrath if these 2 men (and many many others) continue their wicked ways. We pray because we believe this is the only way to demolish the enemy’s stronghold on this.  We pray into the heart of wicked, to break the chain, to release your mercy onto the victims, onto the boys and girls around Sihanoukville. 

Paul: Amen to all of that!

“It is such a pedophilia haven.   Father God, may Your spring of life comes upon all these little ones, and those who are trapped in it for years.  May your waves of mercy like the water ebbing and flowing to and from the beach washing their shame and guilt away. Ebbing and flowing endlessly to wash them and clean them.  May they stand tall and be washed by You, protected from the enemy foes.  Father God, whom can we trust, but You? whom shall we pray to, but You?

Paul: Amen and amen!!

“As we pray with our hearts slashed open by such news, day after day after day, may our faith continue to explode into madness for you, and to ask for your power and strength as we intercede even on a day seems quiet and merry at this end.  We intercede, nothing would stop us from interceding for your children are suffering and exploited as we breath here.  I am angry and disgusted by the enemy’s endless destruction on your precious precious, yet your power is more mighty and powerful than what is in this world.  We trust in You, God, we trust and lay our hope, even if there is only one thread left, we lay ours in You, and You alone.  In your Son’s powerful name who could break apart anything and break into our hearts, we pray!!

Paul: Amen!!

Please, be my strength, for I don’t have it anymore. And at my final breath, I hope I can say, I fought the good fight of faith,  I pray Your glory shines, this doubting heart of mine, and all would know that You.  You Are My Strength. You and You alone, keep bringing me back home. 

I am home flopping down my bags to the floor, and I hear Heather talking to Paul.  ”We are night time here, it means it’s day time in Cambodia!”  I know not the context of their conversation.  I smile at my Heather.  My heart searches for its depth yearning to know what is gripping her heart, too, for this nation.  5 weeks ago as I shared briefly about SN to Heather.  We promised to pray together for this little girl.  I told her we need to help her.  Heather asked, “But how?”  I answered, “By praying!”  She answered, “I could do that!”  She took out a piece of blank paper and started to draw with a spread of her markers.  I didn’t pay much attention.  After a while, she came and asked “How to spell her name, mami?”.  There she was drawing a picture of SN.   Right across the top of the drawing says, “This is SN at school”  SN was sitting in a classroom, having her arms raising up high, her back was facing us.  A teacher was standing and teaching. There are words on the blackboard “Math. Art. Spelling”

Last Saturday, the Ratanak core group was in our house celebrating Christmas, we laughed and we ate (a lot!!) and we talked.  I ushered one of my dearest friends to the mantel and showed her the drawing.  In our hearts, SN is one precious one.  Her life changed the direction and the depth of my heart in ways I could not possibly imagine, let alone for this nation and for its people.  It has been 3 years now, I realized I not only am called to pray and to speak, I am also called to intercede in ways that are far beyond my heart could handle, that my faith is constantly required to increase in proportion with what He allows me to see. It is difficult as the level of evil and uncertainties continue to increase, yet my faith has no choice but to increase accordingly to fight against the proportion of the evil, yet the Lord in return blesses us with so much more as we intercede in ways so heavily gripping with pain and sorrow.  But if she is not personal to me, why even bother if it doesn’t hurt like she is one of my daughters?  As I look across the room watching Heather and Lilias playing with streamers like they are 2 clowns in a circus, my Lord reminds me that “This is my design and my plan for you.  You cannot pray into a stack of statistics. You cannot pour your heart into a pile of numbers in millions. You can only pray into one, you will call upon my name, and I will answer, then one circumstance changed, one life transformed, one child restored.  One at a time.  You may never feed 5000 in one sitting, but you can feed 5000 one meal at a time.”

You may never break down the cement walls of a brothel, but there are many other barriers you can break down, seen or unseen, to help gain another’s freedom. You may never risk your life to save an imprisoned girl, but you can visit her in her “prison”. You may never feed five thousand in one sitting, but you can feed five thousand a meal at a time. You may never die for someone, but you can point him to the One who did. Be blessed to know that you are close to the heart of God when you care for the “least of these. 

This was written by one who went to Svay Pak in early 2010 with the mission of blessing the community by painting a former pedophile hotel and drawing murals on a former brothel. I am sure they blessed the community with more than only a new coat of paint on the walls but with 12 fervent hearts encompassing passion and prayers for Cambodia. 

I shared the above with someone I respect greatly with an intention to encourage, I in return received another heart swelling reply :

Jessika,

Thanks for your moving words. For some reason many years ago, God gave me a passion for the suffering in Cambodia. It was a passion that was to change my life. Now, more than many years on,  I am more driven and excited by the prospect of changing Cambodia than I was the day I started. That is God not me but I am very thankful for His kindness in allowing me to tag along in what He is doing.

One of the most exciting things for me is to sense that God has used me to spread that passion for and commitment to Cambodia to others.  There are few things more exciting than seeing your passion becoming contagious! Thanks so much for being such a big part of this. Both you and Paul have been such an encouragement by bringing your skills, minds and hearts to this work. I am blessed by this. THANK YOU! 

I trust you will all have a safe and wonderful Christmas where Christ is close.”

Christ is close to us, indeed, today!!  Oh Lord Jesus, we love You, we adore You, we thank You, we worship You, we stand in awe forever and ever before You!!