… how can I love? …

“In Svay Pak. Oh how you quickly fall in love with these little faces. They come to Rahab’s House most every day. We played games, swung them around, laughed, did drawings and fell in love with them again – then waved goodbye to them once again at about 4pm as they went off to get their nice clothes and lipstick on (literally!) so they are ready to be sexually assaulted in the evening!  On the contrary, the fathers, mothers and grandparents who sold these very girls to the highest bidder to be desecrated, used and abused so that the adults could buy smokes, a few lottery tickets, feed their other addictions and satisfy their greed.  I cannot put these 2 worlds together.

Today the children will be back sore and banged up, some perhaps not able to sit down, but they will return to hear about their Jesus. We are into really deep waters working with these kids.

Yesterday a dad showed up. He sat across the street looking at the kids club with oozing arrogance. He came with his little son – the one sells to be sodomized. He boasts about how much money his little guy makes … “

Father God, what is wrong with this boasting father?  What is driving in his mind?  Where Satan was the driving force behind the crucifixion of Christ.  Christ’s death on the cross then became the ground for God’s redemptive program, the program by which He provided salvation for men.  As I deal with my raging anger and guttural disgust towards this boasting father, Father God, you remind me that You not only rose to this insidious challenge of sin, but Your great heart of grace initiated an operation that would marvelously redeem sinners, this father is unmistakenly one of them.  I am challenged to the core that I ought to love him as much as I love his young son.  I ought to pray for this father’s salvation as much as his son’s rescue from being abused and sodomized.  I ought to pray for this father from being released to be a slave to sin, but become a slave to righteousness.  The father somehow needs as much grace and mercy as his victimized child does.  Yet Father God, I cannot possibly put actions into what I am required to do.  It’s too impossibly hard that my rage is pushing the limit to override what I wrote and I’d rather scream at the top of my lungs, “Go and Destroy Him!”

What do these 4 words leave me?  Utterly Nothing.  Father God, How can I love You if I do not love the one You love??

Father God, I  need your grace and mercy to keep me afloat while taking in stories after stories, Your grace and mercy will sustain my lips to pray over each of your children including this boasting father who are created in Your image, that they, in Your heart, are priceless and precious, like the meaning of Ratanak : the precious jewel.


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