A language I have not used for years, except my occasional handwritten letter to my father. Now that he is no longer at the other end of the globe receiving it, I have no other reason to write in a language that I don’t use in my conversation nor in my journal writing. The shapes and the strokes I already allowed their fading away in their own speed. Yet, Father God has a notion otherwise.
After a weekend of switching my mind back and forth from two languages, I discover a stretch of plateau inside. Lush green pastures snug in the midst of hilly mountains. Where my mind land on is where I encounter God in an experiential manner. He re-digs the well which had lied awaste to dry ground, so out of touch and so out of use.
Amidst all, I remember my earthly father who encouraged me to read, to write, to construct, mostly to express. Now that I know he was opening an avenue for me to dig my own well and shall always lower my bucket down and up the freshly drawn well water. Turning the murky water into sweet squeeze from the earth. The plateau I am at now is the vision I have for the Newsong children in Svay Pak. For one day, they will find their own version of plateau by the grace and love of our Father God.
As I put each words into a well depth of meaning constructing every line of thoughts and stories into another language, I feel the chill on my bone as if I am running away from a rainstorm that is soon to come on my lush green plateau. I am running so fast away from it, yet the first drip of rain caught on my forehead. The picture I deliver in a language opens a gate of context in which it is no longer known and familiar. It is sucking my breath away, it is choking my neck with stringing and looping bar wire. Once again after a year of getting to learn of their stories, I am going back to the state of overwhelming anger. The disgust forces my knees to the ground again to ask why Father God, “Who am I? Father God! Most of all, how can I?”
His answer to me is, “I will be with you! It is I who have sent you. I know … I have watched over them …. I have seen … I heard their cries … I will stretch out my arms … I will perform … I will make evil favourably disposed … ” (Exodus 3)