… may I never …

Dear Gracious God,

… over and over again I thought that I am about to clam up about the human trafficking issue, yet Your words like a wrench gripping and turning my flesh to episdoes of unbearable pain, clearing away the web of dust in my throat so I can SPEAK UP!

(where is my voice? exactly! because what I heard is not my voice, but Your Voice, Father God! Don’t I get it yet??)

… over and over again I thought that I can watch that video without having my heart being sliced opened, yet I found myself drowning in my tears, looking at these young girls (aged, at the most, 10) loitering in that seedy brothel cubicles with their arms crossing over their chests, waiting to be picked. In my tears I tried to swim away from the gravity of suffocation, Your commands are the reversal of deafening in my ear-drums …

“how could you look away?”
“how could you pretend that you do not see?”
“how could you desanitize your heart from such reality of injustice and yoke of oppression?”
“how could you?” … and …
“how dare you?”

Father God, I am still swimming in my tears for I am repenting before You, be Your Words go before and after me. May I NEVER look away, may I NEVER pretend that I do not see, may I NEVER desanitize my heart for my heart is not a mere machine of pumping blood and generating oxygen, but a place of carrying my little sisters’ and brothers’ sorrow, of carrying their weight of their atrocities, of interceding on their behalf, …. and yet, and yet … of carrying Your flight of promises You prepared for me and for them.

Father God, I come before You now, please use me and take me where you want me to be … I am here!

In Your Son’s name, I pray. Amen!


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