… last year, today. …

October 20, 2010, Evening.  I was sitting in the family room, having my eyes glued onto this Hope for the Sold documentary “Enslaved and Exploited“.  I watched it by myself once.  I couldn’t speak.  Then I invited Paul to join me and we watched it again.  I watched it twice back to back in a span of 2 hours.  I was soo distraught and yet so hopeful that evening when we went into our time of prayers.  I cried so unstoppedly … you know when you cried, there was no voice but simply pouring out the hollowness of evil that I took in.  There were so much tears, so much tears that they simply want to empty the storehouse all at once.
It was around 10:00pm after that.  I cannot sleep.  I went back to my computer randomly checking on my email.  I saw this familiar name in bold waiting in the inbox. From: B.D.L. Date:  Wed, Oct 20, 2010 at 10:53pm.  Subject: Ratanak Trip with a Twist 2011
“It is with great excitement that we invite you to be a part of the 2011 Ratanak Mission Trip with a Twist … We look forward to hearing from you in the near future as to: your interest in this trip; request for application and other documents; or questions.  Please prayerfully consider being part of this journey into Cambodia where you will discover the incredible things God is doing in some of the darkest places.”
I almost couldn’t believe my eyes.  I was strolling down to the bottom of the email, and clicking on the attachments showing the itinerary and the draft plan.  I looked over my shoulder, and starred at Paul with amazement.
Female voice stuttered out, “Guess what, honey?  I may have a chance to go to Cambodia!”
Male voice replied, “Really??  I received the same email, too.”
“I can’t go. Who is going to take care of Lilias, 5 month old. I can’t leave her.”
“I can take care of Lilias and Heather.  No worries.  You should go! Go, go, go!!”
“But B said we should prayfully consider first.  We should pray about it first.”
“But you have been praying for it for 2 years already, don’t you think this is already the answer to your prayers?”
“What about money?”
“Well you know you are not really worrying about the money?  The Lord will provide.”
“True, you are right, I am not.”
“What about you?  Are you sure you are okay staying with the girls?”
“Oh Yeah, God has us covered!”
Paul was very good in the persuading, encouraging and motivating!!  I was very good at being persuaded, encourged and motivated!!
November 1, 2010.  Mid-morning.  I was taking a walk in the park with Lilias.  The wind was blowing in a temperature of about 10 degrees.  The leaves were turning to bright orange and yellow.  Such foilage sent me to a space where I simply wanted to missing my daddy but nothing else.  Lilias was quiet in the stroller, all bundled up, enjoying me looking at her, making faces to her.  I was quiet too standing on the sidewalk, kicking the crispy fallen leaves, enjoying the sound of the Lord speaking to me.   I thought no one was going to intrude that space.  There was indeed no one on the street, just me and Lilias and the leaves.  Yet indeed our Lord is omnipresent.  He made Himself very comfortable in my mind and heart and saying to me,
“Remember last year how you stood in a room of 50 talking about Cambodia.  You shared My heart in that very room for 2.5 hours, only days of walking out of your father’s funeral.  Oh dear child, I am telling you now, you are not only standing in a room of 50 talking about Cambodia, you will be going to Cambodia.”
That set out the journey!!  As for the rest, I knew not then, but I know it now.  Our Lord is far more better than persuading, encouraging and motivating.  He is all into the Calling, the Moving and the Sending!!  He is good, He is wonderful, He is worthy to be praised!!

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