… this is it …

The sweetness of being in the same ministry with my husband is far greater than words can describe.  The utter honesty cultivated between us partnering as a team with Ratanak is very faith building consists of very much everything as follows:
 
the joy … the fear …
 
the tears …  the excitement …
 
the planning … the discussions …
(sometimes over doing dishes, and feeding our children dinner)
 
the consensus our minds often meet … the exchanges of thoughts and opinions …
 
the anticipation … the “wait and see” …
 
the excruciating pain … the overflowing hope …
 
the “high 5” in the air … the tears dripped on the floor …
 
the thumping of our hearts … the sweating of our hands …
 
the dreams … the “what ifs” …
 
the unknown future with Our human hesitation … the unknown future with His assuring presence …
 
the challenging one another … the pounding upon the Scripture …
 
the shaking hands and fists as we pray … the embracing hearts as we intercede …
 
the “going all out” … the “receding” …
 
the ceasing and resting … the embracing and feasting …
 
Constantly I feel so crystally vulnerable and yet so crystally safe knowing this journey I am not alone, that I am not by myself making every single decision that would affect not only one person, but my husband and our children. What is that?  So mysteriously intangible, yet being so tangibly safe in the arms of our Father’s love.  Seriously, what can beat that when the consequence of grieving for and loving Cambodia put us into such an assuring embrace of His arms without seeing clearly the next signpost??  But we know the next signpost is waiting, maybe a feet away, or 10 feet away, or 10 miles away.  We will keep treading on and looking for it.  A lift of His fingers and a slight nod of His head is more than enough to give us a “Go Ahead”!!  What to fear, what to lose? 
 
The Lord whom we serve doesn’t look at our track record (which is Hideous and Revoltingly Ugly in His sight anyway! Yikes!!) to look for exuberant quality before He decided to call us.  Precisely He did look at our porous track records, yet precisely the porousness is The Ground for His power to shine.  Through the holes and flimsy faith, through which others can only see His light.  His light illuminates our love for one another that’s so pure and bright and genuine and honest coming within us are not ours, it’s all His.  The discarded vessels cannot outshine His.  We know that You are in us, You are living in us, steering the wheels, changing directions, slowing down, and speeding up, flooring it, or applying gentle brakes. 
 
It has always been You, it’s You, it will be You, it will always be YOU!! 
 
 
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