… pa rum pum pum pum …

“God is not a belief to which you give your assent. God becomes a reality whom you know intimately, meet everyday, one whose strength becomes your strength, whose love, your love.

Live this life of the presence of God long enough and when someone asks you,

“Do you believe there is a God?”

You may find yourself answering,

“No, I do not believe there is a God. I know there is a God.”

~Ernest Boyer, Jr.


Glimpses of this … moments of cnviction come in creeks and troughs, seeping into every square feet of my being.  I understood this in my head for years, but only recently, I started to taste the first sip of such profoundness, feel deeply convicted in my heart with such echo.  That I have proof in my hands, I have testimonies to refer to to support this italically bold statement, “No, I DO NOT believe there is a God.  I KNOW there is a God.”  What a bold statement to start up with and you are bound to provide exhibits A to ZZZ to those who bite you by the neck to debate with you.  Yet there is no one trying to debate with me, there are people actually starting to understand this Truth of all truth and in fact they have been looking at you as one of the very few followers of Jesus they have so far known in their lives for traces and samples.  They come to you with questions, but not hurtful allegations, but genuine seeking questions, but not cynical criticism, but thirst and hunger for the Truth to be told and to see someone like you to live out the Truth.

How in the world the King of all Kings, the Lord of all Lords sitting on the throne of Majestic, of the Most High, of the Most Glorious, is as close as my children’s breath on my neck when I hold them near.  How in the world the King of all Kings, the Lord of all Lords is as close as the tips of my fingers as I type out these words of thanksgiving out from my heart as if He sits right next to me reading the word out as the screen displays letter after letter, word after word, forming sentences with punctuation pauses …

It says rightly, He has become a reality whom I know intimately, I greet every day, I see Jesus at the street corner where she stands, I walk up to her and I see Him in her – His life and His protection and His promises.  I try to understand her choppy language.  I cry out to Him for help so that I could understand her.  He showed up timely and I understand a majority of it .. indeed it says rightly, “One whose strength becomes your strength, whose love, your love.”

Her name is Mary!  What a fitting name!!  Her name is Mary!!   I don’t know too many Marys in my life, the one I am close to is my hero and also my dearest friend whom we walk shadows of the valley together.  We have held hands praying and interceding for one another and for Cambodia that our hands were clutching so tight, it left finger marks at the end of the intercession.

Oh dear child, I pray that you are as close as where Christ is now right wherever you are, doing whatever you do, … thats where the Lord calls you, be there 110% and be filled with JOY despite the world seems to be gloomy and dark this time of year!!  In fact, most of the Christmases that I had in years had been gloomy and dark, it’s just that those gloominess and darkness didn’t make it to the news.  Spiritual darkness, loneliness, abandonment, despised, judged, abused, dehumanized … and yet that depicts exactly the condition where Jesus was born.  Like that beautiful Christmas prayer Max Lucado shared on the Huffington Post last Friday.

Jesus was born at night, wisemen were following a star, the Saviour’s first cry was heard in the pitch dark night, mother mary and father joseph bet could use some light to see clearly where to cut the umbilical cord.  My heart stops right here.  I am a mother, gave birth twice.  I am familiar with pain, lots of pain, hours of pain, fingermarking-pain, yanking-Paul’s-t-shirt-into-crumbling-garments pain!!!  I recall the day when L was born, a breached baby with her bum peeking out to the world first.  I recall the medical troops standing in the room “waiting” for the moment of a breached baby’s birth.  I recall the sterile hospital room where we stayed, where I screamed, where I yanked and almost ripped the doctor’s lab coat apart.

Yet our King was born in a manger, dirty poo-filled stinky barn, and yet the whole herd were there worshipping their King and their Creator.  I think the sheep, the horses and the cows in the barn may realize what a sacred place and holy ground there they stood, before the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords!!   What a holy moment to receive the King like this, like the little drummer boy

Can I play for you on my drum?

Then He smiled at me,

Me and My Drum

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come.

Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That’s fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum?

Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum

 Me and My Drum.


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