It was just a casual conversation in the car as the kids at the back were falling asleep. He was sharing with me of what he learnt from the “Good Samaritan” parable – it was a powerful perspective to understand this famous parable and how we have had missed the point all these times. Then he went on talking about how Dr. Gordon Fee (one of our favourite biblical scholars) and his wife, Maureen Fee, would read each other Scripture every day when Maureen was fighting breast cancer. He went on and said, “Scriptures are meant to be audibly received back to centuries ago. Maybe we should do this, too.” Out of the blue tears welled up, gathered, washed my face. What he invited us to do filled up the space in the car.
Here I was looking at him as if he was from another world.
Tears fell even more uncontrollably while I sat there frozen in the passenger seat. He looked off guard and gently consoled me, “It’s okay, honey! It’s okay!”
What he didn’t realize is that this is an invitation that promises not only the most substantial, also the most weighty linchpin between living life and living life abundant.
This has always been on my list but I never have the courage to suggest it out loud as it sounds morbid to even think of death. You are hunger more for His words to shine beams of light wherever you go. You were being brought to life when you clung onto only the moist of such living water when you once were near death many times before. His words would be the only thing you would want to spend time with when people come and go in the hospital room where you may stay, when tests and visits come to a haul, His words would surely be the gate through which you could enter into His presence. His joy found. His grace abound. Dire be elevated. Peace be escalated. That’s the beauty of experiencing joy even when death’s only function is sting and hurt.
I am not dying, at least not that I know of yet, but I know that day and time is in His hands. I know from every ounce of breath that I am inhaling, I am also exhaling closer to that very last breath before He takes me home. And to think of every breath I take in and breathe out makes me realize I am merely a mortal being, a speck in the dust, a floating molecule in this space, yet the God of universe cares about me, names me, plugs me out of eternity and places me here at this very time of the century. How so many breath that I have left on earth to make this God of Universe known and His name proclaimed. How so many breath I have left to be possessed by what my life could touch and inspire all because my life has been touched by His love and power. Death once stung hard, yet it loses its power to sting when into His presence, death is just another threshold to walk into to call upon His sweet name, name above all names that gives life and life eternal.
Today I remember the death of my father. The moment that He plugged him out of this space and placed him to be with Him. No warning, no sign of “be prepared”. When death comes, it comes. Yet the Lord reminded me it’s not death that comes to take life away, it is indeed Him who comes to give more life to life. Today I choose to embrace His gift of mercy reminding me that
no death can take away
no death can sting and prey
no death can kill
no death can separate.
C.S. Lewis wrote this famous last paragraph in one of his famous literature,
Give up yourself, and you will find your real self.
Lose your life and you will save it.
Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end:
Submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life.
Keep back nothing.
Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours.
Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead.
Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin and decay.
But look for Chirst and you will find Him,
and with Him everything else thrown in. THE END.
* * *
I want to be a grace gorilla
No longer a chameleon of drama
The time has come to stand out from the crowd
I want to give forgiveness
A fighting chance
A freeing me
to live in love
And live it out loud
I want to drink deed of the foolishness of wisdom
Instead of swallowing the wisdom of fools
To find the source in the deepened mind of meaning
I want to search out the unsearchable, to invoke the invisible
To choose the truth the TV hypnotized on screening
No camouflage, no entourage
No smoothly fitting in
I want to face the ghost deeper and further than face value
And a beauty that goes deeper than my skin
I want to be untouched by my possessions
Instead of being possessed by what I touch
To test the taste of having nothing to call mine
To hold consumptions craving back
To be content with much or lack
To live as well on water as on wine
I want to spend myself on those I think might need me.
Not spent or I think I need on myself
I want my heart to be willing to make the house call
To be willing when He calls me to move
To be willing when He calls me to go HOME