… 50c …

An excerpt from a letter written  by a missionary couple in Brazil:

Driving through the Christmas traffic, fighting the drizzling rain, I chanced on a 4 year old little girl.  She was wet and cold and shaking.  Her clothes were ragged, her hair was matted, and her nose was running.  She walked between the cars at the stoplight, washing headlights because she was too short to wash windshields.  A few gave her coins, others honked at her to get away from their vehicles.

As I drove away only some 50 cents poorer, I raged at God for the injustice in the world that allowed the situation. “God, how could you stand by, helpless?” Later that evening, God came to me softly with that still small voice and responded not in like kind to my rage, but with tenderness,

“I have done something.  I created you.”

The writer quoted this excerpt pounding on his point where God’s love for us only becomes real to those who give it away.

… For those who give it away

… For those who give it all away

… For those who keep giving away the 50 cents’ worth

…For those who pass by any child in the traffic being used and exploited and not turn their heads and hearts away

…For those who carry such pain as their daily cold hard reminder that God’s plan to eradicate such evil is to move their feet and hands into the midst of suffering

…For those who say they love but they do not suffer with the suffering of the beloved is not love at all

What we do here for Cambodia is a daily intentional determination to give away what we receive from Him.  To stay in course and suffer with the suffering of the beloved for we ought to taste the reality of such Love.  Buchanan wrote, “God loves us the way God who is love can, He loves with a washbasin, a wounded side, a fatted calf, a cross on His back.  He loves us with all the riches of heaven, lavished on the least of these, the worst of the worst. And the more we dare to love like Him, the more we will taste the reality of this love. We will start to rely on it.  We will put all our weight there.”

I start to realize as we approach this month of April, an anniversary month for Cambodia, all I have left is clanging cymbal and resounding gong. I start to realize I have no capacity to love the way God loves Cambodia. The way God writes that sublime piece of love poetry,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.

Precisely I know I am incapable to love the way He loves, I know I need to rely on it, I need to put all my weight there!! That’s when He invites me to know Him, as Buchanan wrote, “to know Him in all His beauty and terror, His brusqueness and tenderness, His wooing and commanding.  He invites me to both rest in Him and risk for Him.  To come.  To go.”

May I add a few more.  To rest.  To run.  To let go.  To hold tight.  To place my hope in Him.  To wait for His hope of glory.

He invites me, “if you are tired, go ahead, lay down and sleep, there is no serpents hidden underneath your bed that I cannot deal with.”

In all His tenderness, He utters these words, “jessy, if you are tired, go ahead, lay down and sleep, there is no children being hurt and exploited that I will not rescue and restore … Keep doing what you are doing, even when you are tired, go ahead, lay down and sleep, trusting in Me is one way to show Me that you love Me, too!”



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