At 7:18am, the whole house is still snoring. I sit by myself in the dining room with my cup of coffee which takes 5:07 to brew (Yes, when you can breathe in your day paying close attention on every minute spent, you can literally feel the clock ticking slowly in abundance for you to observe and embrace). My tattered bible is flatly opened to the book of Revelation which I am so thankful to dig deep daily.
How I start and spend my day is totally up to me. No GO-train schedule decides my waking hour. No hurrying the girls to put on uniform dictates my tone of voice. No dreadfulness dawning on the bathroom mirror as I water-flush my sleepiness out of my eyes takes me out of the door. No such thing as “We cannot go to places because tonight is a school night.” I have full control of how my hours are going to be. Yet in such absolute freedom, time spending with the Lord is much needed than ever before.
Homeschool planner is on my right; a stack of Math and Language Arts homework are beckoning for me to review. I want to journal. I want to do lesson plan for the next few days. I want to crawl back into bed. I want to check my emails. I want to practice my jump kicks as I need to team teach those tracks 4 more times this week. I want to … I want to do many things …
Yet when I intentionally make the decision to avoid eye contact with that long list of “to-do” and reach out to my bible, I come completely undone before my God. I know truly nothing will stand, not my homeschool lesson plan nor my 100 times practicing my jab cross would get me anywhere closer to His heart, to His shepherd voice to which this lost sheep is dying to heed.
Spirit of God, come upon me, to reveal, to open my eyes, to open my heart chamber totally leaning in, leaning close to you for wisdom, knowledge, for patience, for grace-soaked disciplines, for every deep heave of sucking air in to find the appropriate response to my children’s unending questions and “Mommy?”
Spirit of God, come lean close and give me breath, Your breath, to sustain, to give me wisdom of movement, agility and co-ordination in all that I do that You are right at the front and centre.
Spirit of God, remind me to abide in You, remind me to respond to your invitation to sit with You, and allow Your words to balm mine.
Truly, there is ceaseless worship when I once again acknowledge your All-Sufficient-ness, that You are holy, that You are Lord, that You are God, that You are Almighty, that all glory, honour and praises are Yours.
“‘Holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty,
who was, and is, and is to come.”
9 Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throneand who lives for ever and ever, 10 the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
11 “You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being.”
Revelation 4: 8-11